Practical checklist for job seekers in corporate world

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Practical checklist for job seekers in corporate world

We employers are just frustrated because people like you do not give a damn about wasting our time. Precious time. Didn’t your parents, teachers, good friends and even prospective employers tell you ‘time is money’? I bet they told you a zillion times. Yet, you did not listen and now you either do not have a job or you are in a job that will take you no where in time.

You need to listen again. And listen actively if looking for a corporate role.

Find out what’s your passion. What kind of role you are looking for. And then reflect on your qualifications, skills and knowledge if you can do a job. Ask yourself, ‘am I qualified for this role?’. ‘Can I do this’. ‘Am I fit for this position?’. Know your attitudes as well.

Read well the job description. I know a lot of position descriptions are just as bad. That does not mean you can’t ask your prospective employer to email you a copy of the PD. Or ask them if they could tell you a bit more about the role you are planning to apply for. Your employer should be able to brief you about the position they are hiring for. If not, you know this employer is not going to be the right one. So, do not bother applying for any role with them. Trust me, dole is better than working for these people.

If a role does not appear to be appealing to you because you lack certain skills and knowledge then ask yourself, ‘am I ready to learn new things?’. ‘Am I ready to spend time and effort to acquire new skills?’. If you are not open to learn new things because you are lazy or could not bother, then do not apply for the role.

You need to change your thoughts, attitude or behaviour first. Employers look for flexible job seekers. The workplace has changed over the past decades. I know your Daddy had a 40-

years-working-life and never needed to learn a new skill or two. Bad luck for you. World is changing every day. You need to learn new skills and gain more knowledge. Always at work. Or book yourself a one-way ticket to Mars. Never come back to this life.

Let your employers know you are open to learn new things and flexible to develop yourself personally and professionally. They will love you.

Tailor make your CV. For each role and every time. Yes, it is time consuming but should not take more time than the hours you waste browsing on social networking sites or watching Netflix. Social networking sites and TV have failed so far to get you a job. So, spend the time on updating or re-writing your CV.

Before that, understand and learn what is the difference between a CV and a Résumé. They are not the same! It may be a good idea to spend a few bucks on a professional CV writer to have your CV written. If you don’t have the dollars then do not buy any more cigarettes, lotto tickets (you are not going to be a millionaire), burgers and chips. Eat instant noodles (Mi goreng) and save money first. Better spend time to train on how to write a good and proper CV. The money you save could well be spent on buying a good quality shirt or a pair of business shoes for your interview.

Spell and grammar check you CV before sending to your prospective employer. Especially if you have mentioned in your CV, that you are a person who pays ‘attention to detail’ or have a qualification in ‘English language’. Find someone to proof read your CV. Do not trust the spell-checker on your laptop or notebook. Human proof-readers are better than those apps. Apps are still dumb and semi-literate.

Format your CV well, specially if you want to send in Word format. Learn Word well. We can tell about you, one or two things by looking at your CV that you sent in Word format. A lot about you! Be careful.

Give us a contact number or email in your CV. We do not necessarily need to know where you live. Sometimes we don’t care where you live. Your employer knows you sleep under a roof!

Albeit, have a professional email address. Do not give us the one you created because you like bananas. We do not have vacancies for monkeys!

Remember, you are sending your CV and not your biography. We have no interest to know every single thing you have done in your working life. Just tell us what you have done in the past 5 years relevant to the role you are applying for. We only spend less than 10 seconds on your CV to know if your worth giving you a call. Your employers skim CVs, they do not read memoirs!

Make sure we can’t access your social networking sites if you have photos of drinking from your Nike boots or showing you went to South Korea for getting your boobs done. Once I found an applicant who had a photo uploaded on Facebook of pinching his girlfriend’s bum at a party. Hilarious? No. Do we google you. Certainly.

If you have a LinkedIn profile, ensure you have a professional photo uploaded. Not the one you have on your Facebook or Instagram.

Do not email or call us asking if the position is still vacant. Its not even 24 hours since we advertised the role. We do not have spare time to trash-talk to you. We are at work, working. We take time to hire good applicant. We won’t hire you because now we know you harassed us!

If you get a phone call from your employer or job interviewer do not ask them to remind you which role you applied for. You must know the position you applied for. We are not looking for work, you are. We have jobs and not lazy like you. Your prospective employer is not your mum to remind you everything!

Do not ask how much you will get paid. We know how much you are worth and that’s what we will pay you. If you have applied for a corporate role, then do not ask if you could work from home. No, you fool. We are not hiring housekeepers!

Do not be late for the interview. Come at least 10/15 minutes early. But do not come an hour early. We do not babysit job seekers. If you are late for your interview for any genuine reason, then call your interviewer early. Do not come late for an interview and then blame public transport or your grumpy cat!

If you do not want to attend or cancel the interview, then let your interviewer know. Be courteous! We know who you are, and know other employers too that you have knocked their doors on. You will never hear from us again!

Do not come to the interview wearing your sleeping PJ. I have seen it many times. Never anyone got the role, even though they were qualified for the position.

Before going to a job interview take shower, brush your teeth and clean yourself, really. Wear nicely appropriate corporate attire or casual business attire. You do not need to show us you have a Hugo Boss T-shirt in your wardrobe or have a six-pack.

If you do not know how to use perfume, do not use them. You are going to an interview, not a cocktail party!

And, do not expose your cleavage. Correct for both ladies and gentlemen. Button up, tight. We have seen a lot of them! We are not hiring strippers today.

Wear black or brown polished business shoes with black or dark socks. So-called happy socks are also OK. Just ensure they have conservative patterns. No playboy bunnies on your socks for sure. You are going to an interview, not at Melbourne Cup!

Do not wear black shoes with white or cream-color socks though. Yuck! You are neither the late Michael Jackson, nor the David Letterman. Only these 2 could be forgiven for white socks in any interview! We forgive celebrities, not poor job seekers!

Your employers may be smokers too. But we do not want you to bring the cigarette odour with you to the interview. We won’t hire you. Get out of the room, right now!

Do not talk too much during your interview and do not blabber. We do not hire dodgy politicians. Only nice citizens who pay taxes!

Do not ask us how many partners we date and kids we have, or if my dog is a Great Dane. I am not visiting your house on a sunny Sunday arvo having a cuppa or a jar of beer with you. Rather ask us how we could use your skills and expertise in developing our organisations or businesses.

If you are religious and do not want to show your face that’s OK with you, but do not come for an interview. Yes, I want to see your face, and won’t hire a zombie.

Do not come to the interview in your ethnic or traditional dress. You can go back to your own country looking for work in that attire. Not here.

Email or post the requested documents that your prospective employer has requested from you. Do not push them or ask for your contract or employment letter yet. We have not yet short-listed you. We are still deciding if you are organised and fit for our organisation. Remember, we have other candidates who are better than you. We shall hire them, and not you.

If we bring you onboard do not become a slack. There is always a probation. We are evaluating you if you are the right fit for us. Understand the business first or ask to learn about the organisation. Then get things done well and above to settle down. Show some interest. But do not be overcurious. There is a word in the dictionary, ‘self-discipline’.

Prove yourself you are worth for the business to keep you.

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